What to Expect at Your Initial Divorce Consultation

It is important to be honest, even if you are embarrassed by past events.

By The DivorceLawyer.com Team

Updated August 3, 2024

Divorce is one of the most life-altering decisions that you will make in your lifetime. When you are contemplating divorce, it is important to educate yourself about the process before you make your final decision to go forward. As part of your research, you can schedule an initial consultation with an attorney so that they can explain the process, assess your unique circumstances, and answer any questions that you might have. It is also an opportunity to ensure that the attorney you’ve selected for your consultation is the best fit for you and your situation. The initial consultation should be about an hour, and you should expect to pay the hourly rate for the attorney you meet.

What to Expect at Your Initial Divorce Consultation

Be Prepared

For the initial consultation, you will want to be well-prepared so that you can get the most out of your hour. Some important issues that you will want to discuss at your first meeting include:

  • Why Divorce
  • Finances
  • Property
  • Children
  • Prenuptial Agreement

It is important to be honest, even if you are embarrassed by past events.

Why Divorce

Your attorney will need to understand what has happened in your marriage that has led you or your spouse to want a divorce. You don’t need to prove what has happened for the court to grant your divorce. Conduct is important for some issues, though, like alimony, division of property, and child custody, so your attorney will want to know. Ahead of your first meeting, you may want to reflect on problems or events that have led you to this point and be ready to share them openly. It may help to talk them over with a trusted friend ahead of time to gain perspective or write them down.

So that your attorney can best serve you, it is important to be honest, even if you are embarrassed by past events. Experienced divorce attorneys are used to hearing all kinds of allegations, and will be there to help you achieve the best possible outcome. They can only help if they have all of the facts. So that they are not caught by surprise later on, be sure to share anything that your spouse might allege about you in addition to things that you share about your spouse’s behavior.

Finances

You should be prepared to talk about your financial situation. Your attorney will want to know the financial history of both you and your spouse. Be prepared to answer questions about whether you both work or have in the past, the nature of your occupations, and whether either of you is a stay-at-home parent now or in the past. Your attorney will also ask about assets and liabilities, like savings accounts, property and vehicles that you own, stocks, and retirement accounts.

It is a good idea to bring your last three years’ income tax returns. This will help provide a clearer picture of your finances, and may help your attorney spot things that might have been missed. A common problem in assessing finances is that a nonworking spouse often has no idea what their partner earns. If your joint tax returns aren’t easily accessible, you have the right to call your accountant to ask for a copy of your returns. They can often easily be emailed to you, or you can pick up a copy so that you can bring them to your first meeting.

Property

As part of your financial picture, you should be prepared to discuss details about any property that you own. It is helpful to know the fair market value and any remaining mortgages or loans for each. If possible, it is also important to know the monthly expenses related to each property, including regular maintenance, utilities, and services like lawn or pest control, and if you generate any rental income from any of your properties.

Children

If you have children, you should be prepared to discuss the level of involvement that each party has in raising them. Your attorney may ask things like who plans play dates, schedules doctor’s appointments, participates in teacher conferences, attends extracurricular activities, and engages in unstructured free time. This information will help your attorney advise you about parenting issues after divorce, like custody and parenting time.

If one spouse is a stay-at-home parent, your attorney will also want to understand plans for re-entering the workforce. They may ask about past work experience, marketable skills, and whether the person will need a period of time to go back to school or build skills before being able to find work. They will also want to understand how re-entering school or the workforce will affect childcare, and how this will be addressed.

Prenuptial Agreement

If you signed a prenuptial agreement before you were married, it is a good idea to bring a copy to your meeting. Your attorney will want to know any agreements that were made about things like the division of property and alimony ahead of the marriage. They will also review the contract to evaluate whether they think the court will find it valid at the time of divorce, based on how the prenuptial was structured.

Informed Decision

Moving forward with divorce is a big decision. An initial consultation can give you a general idea of what to expect. If you have provided a full picture of your circumstances, your attorney can share their thoughts on how property might be divided and how much child support and alimony may possibly be awarded by the court. With this knowledge, you can make a more informed decision about how you want to proceed as you move towards the future you want to build for you and your family.

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