Top 2 questions asked by people contemplating a divorce

Randall Kessler

By Randall Kessler, Founding Partner at Kessler & Solomiany Family Law Attorneys

Updated January 15, 2025

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The number one question is probably, how much does conduct really affect things? My spouse is a jerk. And then there are two answers. First of all, what do you mean by being a jerk? Well, he’s a narcissist. Okay, well, everybody’s a narcissist nowadays. Well, he yells at me. Well, a lot of people yell at each other in marriages. Well, he’s cheated. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. In Georgia, adultery is a lot more consequential than it is in a lot of other states. But then I have to break the bad news, which is judges see the worst of the worst. Right? So few cases go to trial that when you get to a judge is going to say, oh, your husband cheated on you. You know what I’m going to do for you?

I’m going to give you the freedom to remarry somebody else so you can get away from him. That’s about all that really matters to most judges. Number two is probably, and this may be number one, am I going to be okay financially? And we’re fortunate. Most of our clients have significant wealth. They’re going to be okay if they get one quarter of the marital estate. Most of our clients are going to be just fine. But to them, they’re not going to be fine, because their whole life they had that money, that nest egg, and all of a sudden, whatever they had is now cut in half or a third, and they’re terrified. I try to focus them on. Let’s do a budget. Let’s figure out why you need $20,000 a month, not just because you pulled it out of the air.

Because when you look at why you need it, you may not really need $20,000 a month because the house will be paid for in three years. You won’t need that mortgage. So that’s $3,000 a month you won’t need in three years. So you only need $20,000 a month for three years. And then you won’t need a car payment because your car will be paid off in six months. And when you start focusing on it being a math problem, it helps move them from conduct and to thinking about the future. But I think conduct and am I going to be okay financially? Am I going to be secure? Are probably the two biggest questions.

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